Boxer Shorts and Thongs
I'm really not trying to be mean. I'm not trying to judge, but wouldn't it be better not to show the world your underwear? (Or--if you're in the UK, don't show me your pants--unless I really would like to see them.)
When I was getting my undergraduate degree a few years ago (I went back when I was old), there was a really obnoxious girl who sat in front of me in a couple of my classes. She was loud and bossy. She was a big girl--not that there's anything wrong with that! But she would lean forward in her chair and her thong would show.
It was like a train wreck. I don't want to look at anyone's thong! I think they're gross. One of my classmates turned to me and said, "those are actually boxer shorts, but they're too tight." It was mean, but we laughed anyway.
I thought the big girl thongs had passed from my life, but tragedy has struck again. We have a new girl working in our department. I'll call her CT (that's what we call her behind her back here--by the way, we generally don't talk about people here...). Anyway, CT is a big girl with a high squeaky voice. She's lazy, whiney and a complainer. She also talks nonstop. She's intrusive and annoying.
CT wears really tight pants that show every pocket in her butt as well as her underwear lines. Last Friday she wore a thong. Everyone saw it. Our manager was vomiting her cube. I was sobbing quietly. The worst part was when two coworkers noticed that she had a wedgie... in the front (there had been rumors--hence the nickname) . The coworker who witnessed the travesty started bleeding from the eyes. It was bad.
What's the deal here? I don't think I'm intentionally starring at girl's butts! Why are the quadruple x thongs showing in the first place. Shouldn't people wear loser fitting pants? I don't wear tight pants!
Why are both of these girls relatively hideous in the first place? Would I be so grossed out if they were nice?
When I was getting my undergraduate degree a few years ago (I went back when I was old), there was a really obnoxious girl who sat in front of me in a couple of my classes. She was loud and bossy. She was a big girl--not that there's anything wrong with that! But she would lean forward in her chair and her thong would show.
It was like a train wreck. I don't want to look at anyone's thong! I think they're gross. One of my classmates turned to me and said, "those are actually boxer shorts, but they're too tight." It was mean, but we laughed anyway.
I thought the big girl thongs had passed from my life, but tragedy has struck again. We have a new girl working in our department. I'll call her CT (that's what we call her behind her back here--by the way, we generally don't talk about people here...). Anyway, CT is a big girl with a high squeaky voice. She's lazy, whiney and a complainer. She also talks nonstop. She's intrusive and annoying.
CT wears really tight pants that show every pocket in her butt as well as her underwear lines. Last Friday she wore a thong. Everyone saw it. Our manager was vomiting her cube. I was sobbing quietly. The worst part was when two coworkers noticed that she had a wedgie... in the front (there had been rumors--hence the nickname) . The coworker who witnessed the travesty started bleeding from the eyes. It was bad.
What's the deal here? I don't think I'm intentionally starring at girl's butts! Why are the quadruple x thongs showing in the first place. Shouldn't people wear loser fitting pants? I don't wear tight pants!
Why are both of these girls relatively hideous in the first place? Would I be so grossed out if they were nice?
posted by Miss Keeks at 10:02 AM
6 Comments:
Miss Keeks,
This is very funny! You shouldn’t feel like a voyeur or a pervert for looking at this woman’s butt cheeks. Some people crave any kind of attention they can get, albeit it negative. You see a lot of this with young people; the spiked, day-glo hair along with a myriad of body piercings and tattoos. They want to be noticed and stand out from the crowd. But when you look at them with your eyeballs out on stalks, they usually throw some four letter words at you or give you the finger for staring at them.
I don’t understand why any “large” woman would purposely wear clothes that look like she was poured into them and forgot to say “when”, but who knows what goes on in the minds of others. Perhaps someone (her husband, a boyfriend or a girlfriend) told her she looked “sexy” and she believed it. Given how you’ve described her personality, I’d venture to say she’s just dressing this way for shock value or she’s simply too lazy to shop for clothes that fit properly. Try leaving a Lane Bryant catalog (clothes for the “full figured woman”) at her work station; maybe she’ll get the hint. For her birthday this year, buy her a “mumu” by Omar the Tentmaker.
May I also suggest you and your co-workers try wearing very dark glasses to work so you don’t have to look at her wedgie.
Hi Miss Litzi,
I saw another girl who works here wearing hooker pants--laced up the side. She was skinny, but it was still weird.
I was able to avoid looking directly at CT's butt today. I try not to make any eye contact at all.
You'll like this--one day, CT came in very upset. Her husband told her that her underwear lines were showing. She was in a rage.
I'm always amused by youths dressing to shock. Generally, they're not doing anything different. I saw my first nipple piercing almost 16 years ago--I admit, I was surprised. Some guy showed me his "prince albert" in a bar (he was showing it to everyone--I didn't feel special).
Hi Miss Keeks,
Another employee wore hooker pants to the office; excuse me for asking, but do you work with a bunch of dim bulbs? It’s probably politically incorrect, but it sounds like your place of employment should request (demand?) that their employees dress in an appropriate and dignified manner. And if someone shows up at work in an unacceptable outfit, they should be sent home to change and docked for the time away from their job. The one problem I can see with this is who’s to judge what is and is not “appropriate” business attire. Don’t groan, but your office might be better off if everyone had to wear uniforms. This would eliminate all the bizarre clothing and it makes getting ready for work in the morning easier. So what if you all look basically the same? It’d be better than having to stare at Ms. Butt Cheeks pouring out of her too-small trousers all day! You’d just have to hope someone makes sure she purchases the correct size for her rubenesque shape.
CT’s husband didn’t like her underwear lines showing, huh? Maybe she’s looking for a little extracurricular activity and thinks that flaunting her corpulent wares will bring them running. Running to the bathroom to barf, but running…..
Some guy showed you his “Prince Albert”?? Is this what I think it is; something better left in the can (or in this case, his pants)? I’ve never heard that expression. Wouldn’t that quality for indecent exposure or flashing in a public place? Maybe he should get together with the skinny woman wearing the hooker pants; it sounds like they both enjoy making spectacles of themselves!
You know from now on, you're not going to be able to help yourself.
You'll look.
LOL!
Why are both of these girls relatively hideous in the first place? Would I be so grossed out if they were nice?
I once was in the St. Louis "smoking lounge" (for no particular reason). The lounge is a huge plexiglass box with it's own ventilation. People pack in like sardines for their quick smoke and watch others walk by and glare in disgust. From the outside, it looks like some very scary lab experiment.
Anyway, I'm sitting there (for no particular reason) and this rather large girl wearing very tight pants and a tummy shirt walks by. The way she was carrying herself, you knew she thought she was hot stuff.
Comments and snickers were exchanged by a couple fellows to my left. And then, the unthinkable happened. She came straight to the plexiglass, spun around, leaned butt-side against it and sat down for a chat on her cellphone.
All we could see from the inside was waaaay too much of her butt crack with a thong burried in there somewhere. And all the above was smooshed up distortedly against the glass.
There is something worse than smokers crammed into a see-through box.
Hi Rhonda!
Wow, that story is... pretty funny! I can't help but wish you had your camera. By the way, here at work, we now call ourselves "rubber-neckers" when our eyes are drawn to some horrifying sight.
And I really miss smoking.
Attila,
I look everyday. I can't help. I find myself disappointed when there isn't something exceptionally hideous to look at. Luckily, that almost never happens!
Miss Litzi,
This is a bank! Not tellers and customers bank (well, there are plenty of those, but not where I work). It's business casual, but I think some people need to understand that casual does not mean street walker.
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